What will life be like for us all after climate change renders half the earth uninhabitable? Where will we holiday after Venice has sunk, Florida has been blighted by endless tornadoes and the lush forests of South America have been reduced to desert?
In answer to this terrifyingly relevant question, Travelplanners have created a tongue-in-cheek checklist of doomsday destinations worth visiting in the future. From staying on the great pacific trash vortex, to catching some rays on the newly formed beaches of Siberia, and boating along the grey canals of Birmingham on Sea.
They asked me to come up with a few of my own UK hot-spots to add to the list; places we’ll be forced to embrace in the hot, sticky and not-too-distant future. This is what I came up with…
#1 Soundless escapes in the Lake District
Thanks to agricultural mismanagement and increasingly warm weather, it is already claimed that the Lake District is being turned into a treeless waste of cropped turf . With global warming, this will intensify until almost all bird, mammal and insect species are eradicated. The Lake District will be forced to rebrand a minimalist retreat for rich London execs suffering from burn out; not even the sound of a meandering bee or rogue sparrow will disrupt the peace and quiet.
#2 Climbing on coffee-cup mountain
In an effort to find a use for the 2.5 billion coffee cups the UK throws away every single year, the government will create dedicated coffee-cup mountains around the UK. These will be designed to offer adrenaline junkies some of the most challenging climbing conditions known to man. They will become a major UK tourist attraction, attracting visitors from all over the world.
#3 Surfing in city centres
Flash flooding will become an almost daily occurrence in the built-up, concrete-clad city centres of the UK. As a result, ‘boris bikes’ will be replaced with surf-board stations, allowing commuters and tourists to tackle every mini tsunami with ease. A winning combo of high rainfall and dodgy drains will make Pontcanna the new surf capital of the UK.
Want to stop these holiday horrors from becoming reality? Check out my easy, eco-friendly resolutions for 2018 🙂